Winter! Outside, it's cold and drab. The trees are bare and the grass is brown. Today winter has followed us inside the house, Camden is not feeling well. It's these days that Chris and I race to care for her. Our voices change to a sympathetic tone, its the anything you want baby girl voice. Her pouty sad face...just melts our hearts.
As I move forward on my journey to see the joy around me, I want to share my latest pictures of a sick little girl with her pug. Baxter curls next to her to make sure she is safe and warm. Even with the yuck winter brings, I am grateful that I can soak in the glory of being a parent. I am thankful to find joy in the gift that God has chosen ME to care for and raise this sweet little girl.
"yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior " Habakkuk 3:18
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Thursday, November 29, 2012
The joy I saw in Gianna's eyes
It was so nice to end the day with a birthday celebration
with one of my favorite girls, Gianna. I will never forget when my dear friend,
Beth, brought G to Colby’s 2nd birthday party. At that time, Beth
had foster care of little two-year-old Gianna and one year old Audrey. Gianna
had never been to a birthday party before and it was a whole new experience for
her. I remember handing her a bucket filled with Thomas the Tank Engine party
favors and she looked at me very confused, unsure of what to do. I looked to
Beth with concern and thought to myself, ‘why does this kid not want all these amazing
dollar store prizes and bubbles galore?!’ Beth whispered to me, “I don’t think
she knows what to do because she’s never experienced this before.”
It was true, Gianna had not celebrated many happy occasions
in her life. She and her sister never experienced that special bond a mother
has with her newborn baby or felt the protective presence of a loving father.
Through lots of prayer and much love, Beth and Jim were able to adopt little G
and Audrey.
Throughout the years, they have experienced the addition of
3 more Richardsons, making it a total of 7 little Richardsons. Every time we go
over to their house, my children bask in the bright rays of happiness their
children shine on my kids. They giggle and smile like children should. Sometimes
I wish I were a Richardson kid! My Camden almost always will leave Gianna’s
house with some sort of ‘party favor.’ Whether it’s a baby that looks like
Gianna, orange flavored lipstick, a pageant sash, or a new tutu… it is always
Gianna that will give anything to Camden. I always say, “No Gianna, those are
your toys to enjoy…Camden has her own toys and I want you to enjoy these.” She
will then look at me with a pitiful frown and say, “But I really want Camden to
have these and I don’t play with them anymore!” Beth always insists, she wants
her to have them. Camden now starts her pile of items she wants to give to ‘the
girls.’
It just soothes my soul to see the joyful smile on her face
when I know just a glimpse of what she experienced in those 2 short years. To
see Jim sing happy birthday while bringing her a Paula Dean homemade birthday
cake lit with Rupunzel candles and Beth snapping pictures like a mama should… I
could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I see a little girl living a life
with siblings that adore her despite her flaws and parents that love her unconditionally
through all the hurt and screams. How could I not feel or see the joy this
child experienced tonight. With every present she opened, she squealed with
surprise. I couldn’t stop smiling from the love in the room. Happy 6th
Birthday Gianna! Thank you for letting me see your joy and giving me the best
hugs tonight. Jesus loves this little girl and I can’t wait to celebrate
another year of Gianna!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Full Moon
Today I was inspired. I think that's big. Watching teenagers create art and seeing their view of the world is something not every career gets to experience. Being an art teacher means the world to me. It's a job that has humbled me to be a teenager again so that I can see their life and help them to appreciate it. I adore each sweet soul that sits in my classroom and find it an honor to teach them.
One of my students told me to look at the moon tonight. He inspired me to go out and take a picture.
My dad use to always say, "Loria, I love you to the moon and back." And I would always reply, "Well... I love YOU to the end of road and back." To a little girl, the road goes on forever and if you double it up by saying, 'and back' well that's a long way!
Today, I found joy in seeing a magnificent moon full of silvery light. It was in the hush of the night buried in the infinite black sky, that I heard this moon speaking to me... "I love YOU all the way to the moon and back."
One of my students told me to look at the moon tonight. He inspired me to go out and take a picture.
My dad use to always say, "Loria, I love you to the moon and back." And I would always reply, "Well... I love YOU to the end of road and back." To a little girl, the road goes on forever and if you double it up by saying, 'and back' well that's a long way!
Today, I found joy in seeing a magnificent moon full of silvery light. It was in the hush of the night buried in the infinite black sky, that I heard this moon speaking to me... "I love YOU all the way to the moon and back."
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
A mission to find joy
So it’s been almost two months that my dad passed away. The days
can go by fast with the hustle and bustle of life and some go slow as
molasses. I’m not sure which days I like
most. Sometimes, life will be going just right and then it will hit me like hurricane
force winds. A memory, a piece of clothing, a phrase, a song, a medical bill,
the boxes of my dad’s belongings that we have to step over everyday in the
garage… it will be something that will bring back memories of my dad’s painful
journey and the sadness I feel not having him with me. The emotions that stir are ones that some days
I can’t shake.
Today is one of those days. My emotions are everywhere, my
life freezes so that I can take time to cry… but I still have kids to feed, a house
to keep clean, bills to pay, people to call and most importantly, a husband
that would like to feel welcomed when he comes home.
After talking to my sweet friend Bonnie who lost her father
when she was 25 and realizing….that nope, not at all will I allow satan to take
my joy. She suggested that I use my camera and document my joy. I’m going to mediate
on it, thank Jesus for it, and remember those joys when the winds start
brewing.
So, here is my first picture…it’s Colby reenacting the birth
of Jesus with his nativity scene. The angel plays the song ‘Away in a manger’
and as I sang the song with my children…I found the words were just perfect for
me….“Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay, Close by me forever, And love
me, I pray”
Today I found joy in the innocence of my child who can smile at
the story that gives us all a promise of a future.
Monday, October 8, 2012
My father was a good man. In his early twenties, he set out
on a successful journey. Serving in the United States Air Force, he was
deployed to the Vietnam War and that is where he found his passion in life.
While serving our country, he was part of an operative canine training unit. He
trained dogs to smell for bombs and land mines. Dad found a calling, while
saving lives. After Vietnam, he continued to work for the United States Air
Force while making great strides in detection with dogs. His work was so well
noted that the Secret Service sought out my father. They recruited him to work
at the training facility in Beltsville, MD. These are the days I remember most
about my father.
In the second grade, my mother and father divorced. I stayed
with my father in Maryland and my mother moved to California. It was just dad
and I living in a three-bedroom townhouse for most of my life. Dad had access
to all of the ‘secret’ spots in Washington. He often took me to work while
being a single parent. He had no choice.
So, I would put on my prettiest dress and come with him to work. I watched him
talk to senators and presidents, give tours to foreign ambassadors and
officials. I’ll never forget bringing my cabbage patch doll and propping it on
the president’s podium in the White House Press room while my father worked.
The director of the secret service training facility came to him one day and
asked if he could help him find out how so much counterfeit money was being
brought into the United States. Dad asked if he could have some of the money
and that he would find out and report back to him. Next thing you know, my dad
had found the exact bleaching element used in the counterfeit money and trained
a dog to detect it. He and the director of the training facility went down to
Miami International Airport and tested the dog on a plane that was suspicious.
Well, when the second piece of luggage that came off the airplane, my dad’s dog
he had trained, sat. That was the sign that this is it! While my dad was
shaking and fearful of a failed tactic that he had spent months training for,
the secret service personal opened the luggage and it was filled with
counterfeit money! Dad soon become the Director of Canine Detection for the
Secret Service and had a much bigger office for me to play in! A couple years
later he was offered a job by Auburn University to build a school for
biological detection in canines. This was a sect of the field my dad had always
wanted to work in. It was a career that brought him back home to Alabama. It
was while at Auburn that he met a beautiful, blonde, loyal and loving
companion, Amber his lab. Amber was there with me until his final breath on
October third. Two days prior to dad dying, she jumped up in the bed with him.
She laid her head, eyes sad with pain, on his stomach and was with him on the
bed all day. In the afternoon, Amber knew it was time to love on me. Thirty
minutes before my father passed away, Amber jumped in my lap. She and I watched
my father take his final breath. I could not move her for 30 minutes after his
passing. She did not budge and listened to me weep and morn my earthly father.
My father was there for every school conference, play,
choral concerts, and took me to all of my cheerleading practices. He watched me
cheer and tried to add pointers here and there. He encouraged me to play
softball and become athletic like he was in high school. One game, when I
struck out for the third time, it was my dad that saw the catcher drop the
ball. I heard him yell, “Run Laura, Run!” So I did, I ran as fast as I could
because that’s what dad told me to do. Well, the catcher over-threw the ball to
the first baseman so I heard him again yell, “Run Laura, Run!” This went on
until I finally made it to home plate. I could hear my dad’s praises and saw
him beaming from ear to ear. My softball career ended with only one homerun due
to fielding errors, but that didn’t matter to my dad. He was so proud of me. He
bought me the most expensive bats and gloves, anything I wanted to pursue my
failed attempts to become athletic.
I tell you all of this to give you a glimpse of the
intelligent successful man, protective father, and loving man my dad was to me
and to many others around him. It wasn’t until trials during his career at
Auburn that brought him to this church. He faced many troubled and fearful
days, until he met his faithful friend, Ray Johnson. It was at a small little
country grocery store that my dad worked at until he could draw retirement. My
father was more depressed and hurt than I had ever seen him. You see, my father
put his passion into his work, which was what made him get out bed. After no
longer working for Auburn, my dad was at the lowest point of his life. It was
this body of church that sought him out and picked him up. I’ve always prayed
for dad to find a church family and continue his relationship with the Lord.
You are an answered prayer. You made my father feel worthy and loved. Brother
Mike fed him with the words of Jesus, Traci in her beauty inside and out sang
songs that lifted my father’s spirits. You all allowed him to tell his many
stories of success, relive the pride he had in his family, and look at
countless pictures of his grandkids.
It’s at those darkest hours that Jesus steps in and gives strength to the weary and power to the week. He says in Isaiah 40:28-31:
…The
Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
You see, I too, felt this way in the past few months. My
father has been there with me through all the trials and snares of my life. It
has been more difficult and painful than some of you can imagine. At times I
thought I was literally being choked by the devil himself. A year ago, my son
had this dream.
Colby's dream (told by Colby one year ago)
I always wondered… Jesus, what are you trying to tell me through my sweet child’s dream?! Was it that I should feel comforted in that Jesus, himself, being invited in our home by Colby or was it that I am just too bossy? It was when I stayed with dad in his hospital room, just after his first knee surgery to wash out the infection that had riddled his body that I thought; “I just can’t do this anymore. I feel so alone and scared. My earthly father cannot help me anymore.” And that is when I picked up my bible and God showed me Psalm 91:4, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” At that point, God was transitioning me to no longer depend on my earthly father, only the heavenly one to get me through these tough times.
Colby's dream (told by Colby one year ago)
I always wondered… Jesus, what are you trying to tell me through my sweet child’s dream?! Was it that I should feel comforted in that Jesus, himself, being invited in our home by Colby or was it that I am just too bossy? It was when I stayed with dad in his hospital room, just after his first knee surgery to wash out the infection that had riddled his body that I thought; “I just can’t do this anymore. I feel so alone and scared. My earthly father cannot help me anymore.” And that is when I picked up my bible and God showed me Psalm 91:4, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” At that point, God was transitioning me to no longer depend on my earthly father, only the heavenly one to get me through these tough times.
He is the one that brought me to my knees several nights as
I cried like a baby and begged for mercy. God gave my dad assurance and
pleasure in knowing that one day he will see his mama and daddy in heaven. In
his final days, he yearned for that…he asked for it. He wanted to be home. I
found myself in those final hours, shouting to my father to go home, run home, like
daddy did for me when I ran my one and only homerun. And he did. He ran to
first base, looked back and gave me assurance that I was a wonderful daughter.
He ran to second and told Chris that God couldn’t have given him a more perfect
son-in-law. He ran to third- saw his beautiful grandchildren and smiled in
adoration. And finally, he ran home-into the arms of Jesus. My father’s strength is renewed, soaring on wings like
eagles, running and not growing weary, walking and not fainting - all of his
cares and troubles washed away.
He is rejoicing
with the Lord and I am the one beaming from ear to ear listening to Jesus say,
“Well done good and faithful servant. Well done!”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)